Sorry, I've been in Australia

It was fun, thanks for asking.

anyway, this video got me thinking...



ok so my question throughout the entire thing was "why?"

why did we go there again? and furthermore, was that the REAL reason why we were there.

and this question doesn't just come up with the subject of war, but with EVERYTHING. and this question SHOULD come up with everything else.

why do we blindly trust?
why do we blindly ignore?
etc
etc

on any level of things... i think it's a question that brings up sad and scary conclusions, but truthful conclusions nonetheless..

start asking "why" more and get down to the bottom of things.

This is fun!

And getting more fun by the second!

http://costofwar.com/

Oh and THIS

North Korea attack 'totally out of the ordinary'
North Korea has fired dozens of rounds of artillery onto a populated South Korean island near their disputed western border, with South Korea returning fire and scrambling fighter jets, according to official reports. At least one South Korean marine is said to have been killed during the attack.
Donald Kirk, of the Christian Science Monitor, said that North Korea fired 200 rounds and South Korea responded by firing some 80 rounds back.
But he told Today presenter Sarah Montague that it was not believed that South Korea would take any retaliatory action. He added that stocks of fish in South Korean waters around the island may have been a factor in the attack.
The incident comes as tensions have been raised following North Korea's claim that it has a new uranium enrichment facility and just over a month after North Korean leader Kim Jong-il unveiled his youngest son Kim Jong-un as his heir apparent.
The BBC's Chris Hogg told the programme that Kim Jong-il "felt he had to keep the North Korean military onside" over the succession, adding that the military was "allowed to do what it wanted".
"China has been surprised by its lack of influence" over North Korea, he said. A Chinese spokesman has said that it was aware of the incident, which it viewed with "concern".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9218000/9218753.stm

scary? Do you even care? Do you even care that South Koreans sleep with a little more ease because they know America will take care of it? Actually, just stay tuned to Dancing With The Stars. I'm SURE they'll have full coverage on the subject. Maybe they'll even have an interpretive dance showing the relation between north and south Korea. I don't know. Im all out of ideas for these n/dumb Americans.

Now You Know

And then there's this

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with the pope's justification for ok'ing condoms? For prostitutes? NOT because we have a population problem. But to protect prostitutes. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm pulling my own assumptions a little, but it was still said!

From BBC today
'Condoms OK in some cases' - Pope

The comments appear to soften the Roman Catholic Church's hardline stance on contraception
Pope Benedict XVI has said the use of condoms is acceptable "in certain cases", according to a new book.

He said condoms could reduce the risk of infection with HIV, such as for a prostitute, in a series of interviews he gave to a German journalist.

The Vatican newspaper ran excerpts on Saturday.

The comments appear to soften the Roman Catholic Church's hardline stance, which until now had banned the use of any form of contraception.

When asked whether the Catholic Church is "fundamentally against the use of condoms", the Pope is said to have replied, in the book entitled Light of the World: The Pope, the Church and the Signs of the Times:

"It of course does not see it as a real and moral solution.

"In certain cases, where the intention is to reduce the risk of infection, it can nevertheless be a first step on the way to another, more humane sexuality," he said.

The Pope gives the example of the use of condoms by prostitutes as "a first step towards moralisation", even though condoms are "not really the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection".

The pope says that the "sheer fixation on the condom implies a banalisation of sexuality" where sexuality is no longer an expression of love, "but only a sort of drug that people administer to themselves".

Aids crisis

The Church's hardline stance over contraception has led the Vatican to being heavily criticised for its position in the context of the Aids crisis.

On a visit to Cameroon last year, the Pope said the use of condoms could endanger public health and increase the problem of HIV/Aids, rather than help to contain the virus. This drew criticism from several EU states.

Campaigners say condoms are one of the few methods proven to stop the spread of HIV.

The book is due to be published on Tuesday.

Now You Know

on Imperialism and the spread of Awareness

I'm sitting here trying to surf facebook while simultaneously watching CSPAN discuss the cyber warfare we're faced with in the next couple of years by Japan.

And while I TRY TO DESPERATELY to equally focus on both items of attention, i cant help but think about how blind most of us are in terms of what is really going on in our life (truth)

so then i remembered my fascination with this photo:

so i went to look it up on my phone and THIS is what first popped up.. which i think is equally as amazing:

[in robot voice] "cannot compute. mind.overload.over."

What is that??? is that a deer?!?

Don't click here

I told you not to!! But since you did (if you havent, please do it now... haha it was a joke.. le duhh)

how do you feel?? the saddest part is I'm pretty sure you're still going to eat them. Out of site, out of mind right?? so bad... ehhhhh

remember those oscar mayer commercials where all the little kids are singing a part of the "wish i was an oscar mayer weiner" song?? i want to make a mash-up of that commercial and then bits of video from a slaughter house...like...

*little girl in pink dress with a hotdog in her hand (sick already, right?)*

"I wish i was an oscar mayer weiner!!"

*switches to a video of a cow getting turned upside down by its heels and getting sliced down the middle so it can bleed to death*

"everyone would be in love with me!!"

ahhh yes, the life of truth.... sick and twisted... but at least it's the truth

ohh here's a little metaphorical story my brother wrote about his life (since he's obviously NOT adding to my blog by himself... it's ok, broseff... i still love you)

There was once an immaciated wolf...he was starved, weak, his eyes have a continual squint from the sun, his paws are rough from the endless wandering and his mind is tired from the endless stream of instinct he has to use to survive.

The wolf stumbles upon a beautiful house and on the porch is an immaculate Labrador, the Lab looks at him and says, "You poor wolf, what is the matter? please come inside and eat, please."

The wolf hobbles in and they begin to share a meal. The wolf asks, " How is it that you eat like this? How is that your fur is so shiny and healthy?"

The Labrador responds, "Why this is my house, i live here with the family."

To which the Wolf responds, "Wow, that sounds great, free food, free housing, no predators this all sounds too goo-wait, whats the device around your throat?"

The Lab says, "Oh its nothing, they provide me the free room and housing as long as I wear this collar and stay at my Masters feet, its nothing."

The Wolf rises, nudges away the steak and walks out the door.

The Labrador runs after him asking, "Where are you going Wolf? To leave in your state is surely suicide."

The Wolf stops, turns and says to him, "I would rather die alone, young, starved and with nothing as a Wolf, then live forever as a dog with no freedom of my own."

Therapy 101: Hygiene

Daily routines are interesting. You figure you have to brush your teeth, you have to take a shower, you have to [insert something you have to do on a daily basis in order to fit into the social norm]. But i feel like not enough people sit back and really think about the process of doing all of those things and what it means BESIDES the fact that you're getting so fresh n' so clean clean.

it is a process of defining who you want to become. you do not want to be ostracized from society. you want to fit in to a certain extent. it is a direct reflection of your own dedication. and not even just a reflection of your dedication to your appearance. NO! it shows more your habits as a human being. your ability to go through the same process every single day for your entire life in order to feel clean and appropriate. to be able to go through that same strenuous labor everyday because you enjoy the fruits of your labor so much is probably trickling down into everything else you do with your life. you are a go -getter!!

you can tell a lot by how a person handles their own body.

ALSO

it seems like it's more of a therapeutic process as well. it's like one of these things:

it's therapy. it's mind-numbing, repeated process for the sake of unwinding the ball of re-wound yarn that is your mind everyday, after static that is your life.

so next time you're in the bathroom gettin' yo clean on, remember that what you're doing directly reflects the promise you have already made to yourself: to be a functioning part of society!.... and also that its completely, therapeutically, mind-numbing.

Now You Know

Love is Irritational

sidenote pt.1: my brother will (hopefully) be guest blogging on this blog from now on. He will (hopefully) disclose when it is him writing

sidenote pt. 2: I will be in South America until November and I have made a blog through tumblr. I know I know... There's reasons..

Travel Blog

I have found myself hopelessly in love with a boy I met about three weeks ago.

We met in San Diego at a skate convention called ASR.

We met at a Bliss Magazine after party on the rooftop of a downtown San Diego hotel where there was a beautiful mermaid swimming in the rooftop pool.

We spent the night together and then he visited me in Long Beach for two days.

It took two days to realize we were in love with each other

He lives in Australia.

I am irrational.

I am irrationally in love with a boy I do not know very well

Explanation:

There needs to come a time where you realize that happiness and sadness are completely connected and both need each other to exist. I am super happy right now with this boy, even though we can't see each other all the time. But I am also aware and prepared for potential heartbreak for the sole fact that I'm loving blindly and hopelessly. I'm "dreaming big" so to speak, about what this could potentially be.

But isn't that the way you should do anything? When else do you limit yourself because of fear of failing? Only with love. You were heartbroken once and now you promised yourself you'd never be in that situation again. So every relationship after that is half-assed. You're wasting your time! You're living in the potential of the future.

So I can also say that I'm not going to live in a house for fear of a fire. Because it could happen!! So why buy a house if it might catch on fire? Right?? Too far-fetched

I think i'm getting to my point, i promise... it's almost there

I'm going to love fully, without fear of what might happen because of memories of what HAS happened. That is not in my personality, or my behavior, to half-ass things because I'm afraid

Fear is a Curse

I love a boy from Australia. I met him three weeks ago. We're going to get married

I dare you to tell my future for me. Because you don't know either

Now You Know

huh? what the hell?

this is the brother.

Best Espresso in Long Beach by 3pm

A Buck 25 gets me from here to the best espresso in Long Beach.

Good friend of mine meets me at the bus stop to drop off my cherry red helmet and matching gas canister for my Honda ct90 that broke down on the other side of Long Beach.

Both of us are frustrated and both can tell, but neither of us seem to care enough to resolve the issue. So I decide not to even ask for that ride to the best espresso in Long Beach.

Awkward small talk and she goes zooming off, almost hitting oncoming traffic. Funny how sometimes angry rages have the potential to turn deadly.

On the bus, I pull my hood over my head and quickly throw my helmet and gas canister, hitting an old lady's ankle. i race to the front of the bus, put my buck 25 in the machine and join my helmet and canister on the bench. I watch the old lady dramatically rub her ankle, showing me that she felt it and she expects an apology from me. I do not react to the suggestion.

"I hope he's not on this bus" is the only thing running through my head.

On the bus, hood stays on, glasses go on, and i am immediately nose-deep in Hemingway, instantly sent back to a battle in World War I with my good friend Lieutenant Tenente.

I ask the bus driver which stop gets me as close as I can to the best espresso in Long Beach and he tells me i'm on the wrong bus. The bus I need to be on is 3 blocks behind us.I grab my cherry red helmet and matching canister and I get off near city hall. I walk passed the hot dog stand surrounded by lost souls disguised as street roamers and corporate hustlers.

Walked back to Pine St. where the bus just so happens to be waiting for me. I ask her how close she can get me to the best espresso in town and she tells me I should have been on the bus I just got off. I tell her to take me as close as I can to where I need to be and I can walk from there. By this time, I have 15 minutes until the cafe closes and I will be left to no espresso and a lonely, tiresome, walk back to my apartment.

The busdriver takes me to the aquarium and tells me to walk into the parking structure and up the first staircase I see to the bridge that will take me across the street to the best espresso in Long Beach.

I thank her, grab my cherry red helmet and canister and get off the bus. I obey her instructions and walk up the stairs, round and round, level by level. By the 3rd level, I realize there is no bridge in my future. I decide to fully obey the busdriver anyway and I walk all the way to the top of the structure.

At the top, there are no cars. At the top, I can see the Queen Mary,

the ports,

the concrete jungle that makes up downtown,

the long, snaky bridge that send Long Beachians to San Pedro

the too-expensive apartments with men on their phones, pacing their living rooms

It is now 2:58. I have missed my opportunity. I sit down on the roof of the structure, surrounded by my cherry red helmet, my canister and my book.

I am initially staring defeat in the face, as I contemplate my next plan of action on this hot, summer day.

Yet, after accepting my defeat and embracing myself in my fate, I slowly lose anger and start to notice where I am.

I am here.

Now You Know

"GREAT minds discuss ideas
AVERAGE minds discuss events
SMALL minds discuss people."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Now You Know.

oh yea....

you should play trouble... it's way too much fun

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS GOING TO WIN!! i was up, then i was down, then i was BACK UP!! then back down....

gets me everytime!! kinda like my mother effing life goddamnit

my life is trouble.


wait, what??

PS that's my hand on the bubble.. about to kick some MATHA FACKIN ASSSSSSS

FIN pt. II and i promise i wont come back today

random ramble about nature and dumb people

San Gabriel Mountains
not very far, but just far enough to make you feel like you're not in the same world you were raised as a part of.
just up the 605, i found myself blowing my mind in mountains that looks at us everyday, growing and evolving as a city and a society, but whom we have forgotten all about. they make the background for a perfect LA picture, but what really goes on in the life of those mountains?? right behind us (or in front, or to the side, to some of us)

BUGS!! a shitload of them!! that is their hometown!!

also, disorganization... which brings me to my point i'm trying to make with this

nature is completely disorganized.. as it should be.. there is no conscious being in nature.. everything just "is"...

example: a tree falls, it decomposes, becomes food and shelter for another species that creates an entire ecosystem out of that fallen tree

now nobody told that tree to fall or break open or even fall where it did and WHEN it did... it just DID... it just IS.... it's either alive or dead... growing or decaying.. and that's the end

it felt weird being in an area that i felt like i've betrayed... i feel like i am part of my ancestors... i speak for them in saying "i'm sorry i've betrayed you, nature.. we were just ashamed of being animals just like you"

the way i see it, we've become feeling so guilty for who we really are, we're trying so hard to make sure nobody remembers where that came from... there follows hygiene, structure, organization, morals.. all that bullshit that makes us HUMAN and apart from everyone else

it's a bunch of bullshit

it's obviously not working either if people are getting reprimanded for trying to act too animalistic...

for the girls:
TRY... JUST FUCKING TRY... to go out of the house without showering for a week, not brushing your hair/teeth... not shaving your legs/arms/pits...

actually, just try to leave the house with no makeup... half of you cant.. and that's sad.. extremely sad.. you play dress-up every goddamn day... and we all know it.. you're not fooling anyone... we know that if we took a loop scraper to your face, we could get a good clean chunk of nice and heavy castor oil mixed with some cattle nervous system to get that good smooth, FAKE look

a girl asked me yesterday how i pick friends who i know wont betray me... here is what i HALF jokingly told her:
i know i cant be friends with someone if:
-they cant go a week without shopping
-they have a handbag that's worth more than $100
-they cant leave the house without makeup
-sports bar it up


list goes on, of course... but these are SURE SIGNS i cannot be friends with someone.. and not because i think i'm better than them or whatever the case you might think it may be (what a long, drawn out, confusing sentence!!).. it's more because i will have absolutely nothing in common with them.. we'll probably resort to talking about inane bullshit things like:

boys
boys with girls
shoes
shoes on sale
boys
handbags
jersey shore

ok i cant anymore.. it's making me nauseous


this post rambled.. as does most of mine... too much coffee, not enough food, too much thinking

FIN

To Catch a Predator... or An Animal...

I stayed home and decided to watch To Catch a Predator last night...

usually, people say something like "it's like a train wreck!! you know it's horrible, but you just can't help but watch"

i felt completely otherwise....

don't get me wrong... some of those people fucking deserved what they got.. but there were definitely some that i just simply felt bad for... am i alone in this?? am i sick?? am i going to get backlashed one day for recording this in a blog?? i can see it now...

reporter: "and in other news, Angela Almaguer who is now running for a seat in the Senate has been reported to have agreed with predators' actions against children in her blog she kept in her twenties... with statements like (here's where they take my words out of context) 'i feel bad for them' and 'i am sick' ... "

something along those lines.. you get it...

but what i'm trying to figure out is why half these people seem to be everyday dudes who just want to have some hardcore animalistic sex... why?? what's missing in your own life?? well maybe it's because half of these people work dumbass, mind-numbing, 9-5 jobs where the only "kick" they get is through other peoples' lives... athletes, reality tv, overly dramatic talk shows... where is their OWN outlet for adrenaline??? they usually have absolutely none

computer programmers, teachers, electricians.. not to say that these jobs arent important.. but there's not nearly enough excitement in them!! BOOOORRRIIINNGGG....

second reason i can think of: we're fucking animals... when it comes down to it, we have created for ourselves a certain set of ethical boundaries so we can say that we have separated ourselves from the rest of the animals that inhabit the earth...

"we shit and piss in private"
"we fuck in private"
"we wear clothes"

etc etc.. the list goes on.. those are the most vulgar... but my point is there somewhere among the vulgarity... point: these men are animals.. and they're battling everyday between their animalistic tendencies and then their need for fitting into a certain society... i mean if they really want to sleep with a 13,14 yr old, just move to a culture that allows it, right?? and that's another thing.. are those people wrong?? who is ethically sound here???

i think i've made my point... i'll leave you with this...THIS POOR GUY!!... about to lose his virginity.. all he wants is some loving, RIGHT?!?!?

What I have learned. pt. 2

The power of touch is absolutely amazing

and i'm not talking about touching of the genitals.. NO NO

i'm talking about a simple back scratch/rub...

i'm talking about just going up to someone and scratching their back while you talk to them instead of just crossing your arms and staying in your comfort bubble. DAMN AMERICANS! (although it applies to just about any culture in some way)

this sounds weird, but it seriously is one of the best things to do to people.. and it feels really good when people start doing it back!!

i think i'm starting a revolucion on the subject of physical contact outside of sexual activities!!

i've been doing it at work a lot and it's getting great reactions. i will continue my endeavors

What I have learned/What has been reinforced in the past week or so.

The ego v. the heart. And I'm not talking about just in a relationship. This has to do with everyday life. All types of situations and interactions.

The ego is the bodyguard. Sits fat and happy in front of the fragile heart. The ego builds its walls with identities: I Am a Writer. I Am a Singer. I Am a CEO. I Am.... *fill in your identity.* You become your ego.. Your ego swallows you whole and sometimes there is no telling where yourself starts and your ego ends. Your ego identifies who you are. Your ego makes you unique. It makes you stand out from the crowd because of your unique combination of capabilities and accomplishments. Your ego is presented to the masses and who you ARE.. you ARE something. Always have TO BE something.

Your heart sits in its chamber behind bars, waiting for a moment of release. it watches the ego take lead of any situation, handling it with the utmost elegance and strength. Sometimes, though, the heart watches the ego handle situations in a tantrum rooting from a rage of embarrassment when its identity has been questioned or altered by an outside factor. The heart watches silently behind the ego, occasionally softly whispering advice in the ear of the ego. But the ego is too strong and angry to listen to the heart. The ego cannot see situations for what they actually are. The ego can only see situations as either a protection or threat to the identities he's spent his entire life creating for himself.

The heart never has to do too much work when the ego is strong and forceful. It is not until the ego is tired and worn from the constant battle of keeping its identity safe that the heart finally forces itself free from its chamber and has to figure out a way to sustain life without the ego. The ego is missed because now the heart is fragile and capable of being broken at any moment. However, what the heart did not know at the time of being free is the capability of a heart to mend each broken piece with the help of other hearts that have been freed from their chambers. Each heart works together to find a way to sustain themselves without their ego bodyguards. Each heart is vulnerable, weak, humble, compassionate. Each heart does not know the identities put forth by their own ego bodyguards. Those identities died with the ego. The heart is forced to fiend for itself and find a way to survive on its own without the help of identified walls.

END.

where do all the shadow people go?

from the mind of a shaman healer:

the sun is the goddess of goddesses. There is no planet higher than the intellectual star of the sun. Each planet has it's own consciousness, but act as mere shakras to the wonderful goddess that is the sun. The most ancient of religions speak so highly of the mysterious and wondrous sun. It is the reason we live, evolve. Without the sun, we would be absolutely nothing.

the shaman states his theory further by saying just as any individual organism on this planet has the capability of ascending, or transcending into a higher realm than this physical one, the sun also has the capability of doing the same thing. The planets act as the shakras for the sun and once all of the planets are energetically cleansed, the sun will them be able to reach it's next ascension.

the shaman says, this is the revelation of 2012. We are very small and insignificant part of the grander scheme of what 2012 brings for the entire universe.

subsequently, the coming of 2012 is bringing us out of the age of the pisces and into the age of the aquarius. The pisces is signified by jesus, the pagan (then christian) figure of the fish, etc. The age of the aquarius however (the age of mah gurrlll gina) is the age of intellect. The age of living through the mind and not the physical body.

coincidentally, or not so, we have been involved in one of the biggest revolutions since the industrial. That is, the revolution of information. Industrial focused on the physical labor of a person whereas now we focus more on the intellect of a person. Blue collar to white ollar. Industry to computer screen.

I'm not going to tie all of these pieces of information together for two reasons: I don't want to impose a set of a bias even though that's almost inevitable. Secondly, I GOTTA GO SKATE!!

Now You Know

PS excuse the poor sentence structure and misspelling. I'm writing ia my phone and whilst walking home from school.

edit: this post has been modified from its original post. It has been rid of most misspellings at the least.

lets try this again

so I just got a new phone and I've made an effort to figure out how to write to my blog by my phone. I've come to realize that I love to write on this thing but I never get around to actually writing on it. Also, you can't think about something you want to write and then try keeping that spark long enough to find a computer and write, which is why having a blogger hooked up to my phone makes it a lot easier. Second also, this thing takes wicked pictures! Umm ok I'm gonna say this is it for now. I have some arrested development to watch!

BLOGGR

Experimenting with some PAYING it forward

Ok so I got a ticket this morning for 47 dollars that i CANNOT afford. And I was thinking about different ways I can pay for it. I figured if I asked all of my friends for like a buck, I could easily pay for it. And, in return, if any of my friends get a ticket in the future, I'd be more than happy to pay a dollar or two for the cause. Soooooo I'm going to just PUT IT OUT THERE!! Here is my donation button to my paypal! You can give 25 cents, 5 dollars, ANYTHING! And obviously if you help me out, i'd help you out later. So if you decide to try out the same procedure if/when you're ever short on cash, you know you already have a guaranteed couple bucks from ME!

anyways, cutting the bullshit. let's try this out! thanks to everyone! oh and if i get too much money, i will be taking the person with the highest donation to lunch/dinner/happy endings of your choice

thanks!

kites n sheit

ok so number one, first and foremost, i want my thesis to be something on the pattern of successful students pre and post major media (ie television, radio, magazines)

it seems that the only things that interest anyone living in a non-communist country are media, mainly advertisement. It is the reason why we choose what to do when we do it. advertisement tells you to buy this, go to this, see this, listen to that, watch this, don't do that! a band, product, ANYTHING can become successful with the strategy of advertising (this is ALMOST a guarantee)

so, tying this into our school systems, students are forced to learn material that leadership assumes they should already have an interest for. We assume that the product of math had already been sold to the students to be something they'd want to do.

In order to successfully catch the attention of the majority of the students in any given subject: sell it!. how many times have you heard, "i took this professor one semester and he made me love (insert subject here), now i'm majoring in it!" I've not only heard that from people, but it happened to me.

I just got this awesome job at CSULB where i'm an SI leader. i attend a class with 25 students, then i take them for another hour and a half and teach them how to learn the things they

are learning.. providing them with the skills/knowledge needed to understand the material. fantastic idea!

Not enough students figure out how to already love what you're doing. no motivation! why?? when has it EVER been cool to go to school? I mean really, going to school to be a chemical engineer, or a historian.. BORING..

why? because it's not advertised enough. nobody thinks it's cool because nobody says its cool YET... now i'm not saying to go around putting up advertisements for algebra or english. i'm saying that the root of the problem lies in the teachers. the teachers who are extremely excited about the subject they're teaching usually gets more of a response out of the students. why? because they were SELLING their products. unless the teacher hates their life and is in it for the money, i'm sure most of them have a strong passion for teaching, and as they should! these are the next generation in their hands!

but these teachers need to learn how to sell it. if you live in a capitalist society, you need to base the success of your product on how well it is sold. in order to sell your product, you need that backing of media.

teachers need to be monitored on their techniques on teaching the subject. they need to make sure they're presentation of the given subject is keeping the students' attention.

the rest of the students' life is surrounded by advertisement from the music they listen to, the books they read, the movies they watch, the tv shows they watch, the street they walk on with advertisements for the newest phone, the hottest bar, the sale at the shoe store.

advertisements for clothes, make-up, hairspray...

wait, think about something that ISN'T advertised that still get some sort of success... sidenote: word-of-mouth is still a form of advertising.

i'm still thinking and i cant think of one.

so you get all these kids that are constantly choosing what product they want or dont want, then you bring them into a school setting with mind-numbing boringness on numbers that dont apply to you, words you'll never use, dead guys who you dont care about (this is history, by the way), chemicals you'd be too scared to use anyway. all of these things you DONT want to buy, but you're forced to. that's not the american way! we always, constantly choose what we want or do not want to purchase.

don't give up, there's hope... change the teachers OR change their behavior toward the kids.

as a server at a restaurant, i have been TAUGHT how to sell our products. those who can successfully sell the food keeps their job. the others are not helping the success of the business.

relating this to teachers, teachers need to learn how to be a seller. they need to take their product (education) and sell the shit out of it. if not, nobody's going to care about it

i've had plenty of professors who changed my view of the world just by showing me how passionate he/she was about a subject. then i've had classes i thought i was going to enjoy, and the professor screws it up completely for me.

there is a huge problem there!! that should not be the case... throw out the decaying technique of educating the youth, and replace it with a whole new perception of teaching.

ok tbc (to be continued... it'll catch on)

i gotta do something with my life here!

this is your brain on drugs

i repeat

this is only a dream.. none of this is real... whatever you think is real, is never and has never been real...

the things you see, the places you go, the people you meet... they are all part of a giant dream that you have full control over... even in your DREAM dreams (like the part of sleep right before REM sleep) you can overcome the idea of it being a "dream" and start taking control.. start flying, start laughing, start running!!

so pay attention to the fact that you are left with some important things you CANT change.. like when you were born and when you die... other than suicides (or, arguably, euthanasia.. but even that is somewhat not your choice.. you wouldn't do it if you didnt have to) you really cant choose when you are going to die... decay shows no mercy and it feeds on young bodies who think they're invincible, but end up finding out that they're not. on the terms of when you are born, there is absolutely no choice in that.. there is absolutely no choice as to whether you ARE born or not. this was chosen for you.

so you start off with no choice and you usually end with no choice.. the dirty old man sitting at the corner of Agony and Despair and the richest man in his crisp black suit walking past him with no attention to his sorrows. these men, although choosing different paths in life itself, still have the same fate: death.

congratulations, everyone amounts to death

so in between existing and non-existing.. we have choices.. the only ones we're really capable of. life is not a job.. life is not a task or a chore or a WHATEVER.. life is just taking up that middle time until your time is up...

but so much static has taken over the minds of the miniscule human species and we all think that everything is so important.

our possessions,

our relationships,

our problems,

or finances...

none of this matters.. it's just stuff that we've all made up so living this life is more or less boring.

drop what you're doing and make sure you're doing what you want...

because it's the only thing you should ever be doing... if you want to steal, then go ahead and do it.. you'll have to suffer the consequences.. but that is still your choice. on the other hand, i'm hoping nobody WANTS to steal.. i'm hoping that anyone living the life they choose never would want somebody else's life hindered by their actions.

i guess what i'm trying to say is you only get one chance...

this isnt dress rehearsal...

this is the real thing..

do whatever you want, whenever you want.. and if you're not happy, you better be figuring out why because time is still running really fast, and always against your favor

"how quickly it changes yet

how quickly we forget

that this too shall pass

as quickly as it came."

-from my little green book.

sidenote: most of the people reading this have these choices for the most part... i am also aware and taking into consideration the people who do not have these choices.. who not only had no choice in existing, but also no choice in WHERE they exist. this applies to people in third world countries where genocide, disease and famine are variables that they cannot choose.

two things are taken from their situation: the appreciation of your own life in comparison to theirs, which is always a weird thing because you can seriously start getting depressed and feel guilty that you have such a good life and others dont.. but that is something that can't be fixed with a flip of a switch... so that leads me to the other factor taken... the fact that if you feel guilty enough that you have such an amazing life and others don't, and you WANT to do something about it, then you should... but that is also completely up to you (see how this works??) if appreciating your life is what you want, then just do that.. no pressure.. it's your dream

everything is your choice.. so if you are thinking negatively or feeling down, just know that it is entirely your fault because you're choosing to feel that way... and i mean that even in the darkest of moments.. not saying that the emotion of sadness is a bad thing, but when it's getting in the way of your life, that is your choice...

just something to think about... or not think about... or do, or not do... whatever you want!

BDOML

Know You Know.

perspective, or lack thereof

it's weird meeting people you look up to, only to find that they don't look up to themselves.

nothing is ever as it seems, sedaris taught me that at a young age

i can look at one person and think he/she is amazing and talented and beautiful and way too good to be my friend/be someone's girlfriend/be someone's boyfriend/ whatever. but that person might not think the same about themselves. how does that happen? how do i look at one person from the outside and see AMAZINGNESS, but that person sees shit? even when everyone that surrounds her/him tells her/him otherwise?

or when you meet someone who has so many awesome friends that love them and an amazing family and everything going for them, but you get to know them well enough and realize that they hurt so much inside.. how does that happen?

then i start thinking, who looks at me and thinks i have an amazing life and thinks i'm beautiful, but i'm too caught up in negativity to think the same thing?

i'm not one to think i am ugly or untalented or have nothing going for me, but i think everyone (no matter who you are) goes through that ugly funk of negativity and it acts like a vacuum. then you start thinking about everything bad: ugly nose, bad laugh, not where you want to be career-wise or educationally... and it just goes from there.. negative vacuum

but sometimes all it takes is that one happy thought... to make you fly.... out of negative funk, party of one.....

a lot of times, MOST of the time, there is the problem of low self-esteem, self-doubt... that issue becomes the reason for problems... problems in life, relationships, POLITICS EVEN! if everyone just shut the fuck up about the pity party and just started relaxing and enjoying (ACCEPTING) life for what it is, i think (KNOW) there would be less problems

ok my roomie's home and we're having slumber party girl talk now... duty calls!

BDOML part 34o42342059825 4023942309482

crying and cleaning

i've been crying now for about 30 minutes.. it's not too sad of a cry.. but there is meaning behind it.. the meaning isnt necessarily the issue here so i'm not going to bring it up.. the point is though, why do we cry and then feel better? what makes our body think that crying is the key to fixing the problem? I mean it never really fixes the problem unless you're utilizing your tantrum skills to get what you want.. so why, then, do we cry when we're sad? I'm sitting in my room all by myself crying.. who am i crying for? can't i just be sad, or overwhelmed, or stressed, or whatever it is that i am? i have to be crying? i'm about to start cleaning my room and i guarantee that the whole time i'm cleaning, i'll be crying.. it'll come and go in waves i know it.. what the hell

i just waited for my roommate (sorry brittany) to leave so i can start crying.. what does that mean? i planned to cry... i could keep myself from doing it just long enough for her to get ready for work and leave.. then i turned on the water show and here i am, a crying mess of a person.

i feel like since your body cant physically just explode, it cries instead.. it's the closest thing it could get to exploding, but without all the blood and guts and traumatizing of children on the streets.

ok wine time. drink my sorrows away.. well, that or i drink every night and it just so happens now that i have a night that i'm sad

ALCOHOLIC, PARTY OF ONE.... ALCOHOLIC??... PARTY OF ONE??

still got nothing...

I feel as if i'm lacking the motivation to write nowadays.. I think it had a lot to do with school draining me of all my writing abilities and now all i want to do is catch up on corny movies and sleep in with my kitten and stuff. but i constantly think about writing.. i am constantly writing in my head... monologues. monologues. i wish i could remember ANY of them!

here i am... i still have nothing to write.. haha maybe later then?

but this is way cool

taken from http://ovablastic.blogspot.com/